Feminine friendship

A major challenge to our femininity is being sold out by our ‘girlfriends’.It is always painful and confusing when you find out that your friend backstabbed you.They may have said mean things about you,spread rumours or shared your deepest secrets.

This is absolutely normal but an insult to our womanhood.Why do our friends do this?-Because  of  their own insecurities,jealousy,idleness or to get back at you.And sometimes your friends are not really your friends at all.

Some friendships are able to mend after such an issue while others are not even worth keeping.We however make whatever decisions that feel best for us.

Face down your friend.-Ask her  to have a conversation with you.Talk to her away from other people.Tell her what you heard,avoid mentioning names.Most of the time we find out about backbiting through other people.It is important to find out her side of the story.                                                          

Tell her how you feel and do not beat around the bush.Remain calm however.Allow her to talk and do not interrupt to avoid raising an argument.

By this you will determine if the friendship is worthsaving.                                                                                     If she is honest,open and remorseful for her actions,the relationship is fixable.All relationships have ups and downs.

   Improve communication with your friend

   Establish expectations for your friendship

   Forgive your friend.

If she is not willing to be honest about her actions or if it is arecurring issue with this lady,it might be best to separate your  ways.Therefore;

   Cut yourself from the relationship.-This can be hard but its always best to end a friendship that has become toxic.If someone hurts you constantly,its wrong and less ladylike to keep them in your life.

   Delete her on social media-Internet and technology makes it challenging for women to distant themselves from difficulties.Therefore,do not leave any window open for her to hurt you even more.                                                                                                                                                       Unfriend/unfollow her so that you do not have to keep seeing their posts.Block them is they are doing things to harass you…women can be crazy.lol

   Remain civil when you see each other.If you meet accidentally,stay calm and collected especially if you have mutual friends.If you see her in public,keep your distance.

There is always something to learn from every situation.And backstabbing by a close female friend is no different.                                                                                                                                                                       Hopefully you have learnt how to deal with conflict and how to stand for yourself like the woman of substance we are striving towards being.Learn from your experiences.

Along with the saying “treat others as you wish to be treated”,have a wonderful week.

NJERI 

njeriburugu.blogspot.co.ke

Self-confidence formula

2016 I must admit has been an year of great achievement and I am proud of myself for the same.I thank god for allowing me to see it all from day 1 to day366.

However,my womanhood has been through challenges that am yet to figure out how to place it in the most positive way because it has been truly a hell of a time.I therefore chose to start a journey to making things right as a woman of substance.

I  have been making steps to completely walk over it and I wish to walk with you who may be ahead of me or right behind me in this journey.I learnt to be confident in myself and felt good about it.i surely think this was the first step I made.

I wish every woman would notice this.Confidence is sexy.Confidence is the most attractive quality a woman can possess.It shows how you feel about yourself.Its not funny I once overheard someone so close to me describe his lady-friend.”huyo dame alikua confident sana the first day nlimuona.Alinikill,,she was so comfortable around us like ametujua for years.”That piece definitely crashed my heart and  I thought she must be the hype sanguine personality with the negative slang ‘kiherehere’.The sad part of the story is,,,the guy liked her and I know his type.It was a wake up call for me commemorating how shy and cowardice I must have been the first day I met him-aside with that.

I chose to build my confidence. I read pieces and worked on them.To be confident,you have to;

·        Dress well-This will not mean you need lots of money to build confidence.It doesn’t work that way.Choose the right clothing for your bodyshape.Let it be clean and drySomething simple and classy.Do this everyday,feel good in what you are dressed in.Feel good about yourself.

·        Groom yourself-Make your hair neat,trim your nails,do your makeup right,shape your eyebrows perfectly wax unnecessary hair…ladies,its these little things.Again,do this everyday.

·        Fantasize about yourself image-,Every morning,think about that lady you want the world to see.Photoshop your image with that dream lady you wish to be.Think about her,talk like her,walk like her,act like her completely.It will not take a long while before you realize you really are her.

·        Smile-This perfectly works for me I cannot deny.I feel that smiling is the prettiest thing you can wear.Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.It makes you look confident in their eyes.

·        Set small goals and achieve them.Nothing feels better to a woman of substance than success.Allow yourself to feel successful on your own.Have proper dayplans and avoid procrastination.If you’re the lazy type,plan to read five chapters of your book in a day and by the end of it,thank me for how improved you will be feeling about your self-confidence.

With the few first steps to building your confidence,other virtues that complete the confidence project will naturally fall in to place.You will find yourself being kind and generous to people,being provocatively active,your postures will be perfect,you will eventually change small habits among others.

Self-confidence enables you to manage your fears,tackle lifes challenges with more certainity and maintain a positive mental attitude.It brings happiness,increased performance,social ease and good health status.

Well,confidence is contagious and so is lack of confidence.Choose your company wisely.

NJERI

www.njeriburugublogspot.com